This afternoon, I didn’t have anything to do, so like Dinesh and Tarakeshwari Rathod and Kim Jong-un, I climbed Mount Everest. I opened up Photoshop and began editing. It really wasn’t that difficult. A few cloned body parts and a search for the American flag on Google Images put me within range. All I had to do was scale the resulting images to the appropriate size, and there I was at the summit. I think I’ll submit my accomplishment to the government of Nepal.